What do you mean we just did it?
by playererror404
Summary: Team RWBY has lost everything, they have on last plan to try and save everything and with it they might just... Wait what did they just do?


Team RWBY had been through a lot in their lives, from bonding during initiation to heartbreak at the vital festival all of them had been to hell and back and they all looked it.

None of them had managed to survive their ordeal unscarred, Ruby now walked on a pair of metal legs from the mid-point in her thighs, Weiss' eyes had long been lost and replaced, Blake had a sizeable chunk ripped out of her left cat ear and a heavy burn on her face. To them only Yang would look unchanged, but she'd lost her arm so long ago now that they were used to it in a sick way.

Their years long battle on Salem had taken far more than their bodys though, they'd lost friends and family, Weiss' estate had been burned down, Yang and Ruby had lost their uncle four years ago, Blake had no one left except her friends now, everyone else was gone.

Ultimately it was a move of desperation what the tried that day, no plan in mind they had to escape Salem, she was going to win, she had them at her mercy, their maiden powers were no help against this version of her.

Fortunately, Salem hadn't always been that powerful; she hadn't used to have all the relics of power and control over the world.

And this team had a way of stopping her before she ever got that far.

…

When they initiated the plan Blake was sure it wouldn't work, Weiss would argue the theory was sound enough even if the execution sounded a bit iffy. Yang and Ruby however were sure it would work because it was cool.

This was their reaction:

"God fuckinng dammit Ruby!" Weiss cried as their red headed team leader dragged them through time, hauling all of them behind her as she ran.

"No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" Blake cried as the world tumbled behind them, colours swirling as everything became less real.

"I told you it would work!" Yang cried happily as they fell. "See Blake, all you needed was to do was have a little faith in me and my idea!"

"Faith! Your idea was to just run really fast and prey time travel happened!" Blake screamed. "This is not happening, it can't be!"

"Well it is." Ruby cried as the destination seamed to loom out in front of her.

"This isn't going to work, all that's going to happen is we're going to wake up in a jail cell having gone on a bender and under arrest for burning the establishment down… again." Blake cried, remembering a rather un fun evening from a few years back.

"Oh come on Blake, my fireball trick is hilarious!" Yang cried. "I must have sent mine about fifty feet!"

"Yeah and look where that got me!" Blake screamed as the world around them came back into focus. "Honestly this is like that time you wanted to nibble on my ears!"

"Well it was cute in theory!" Yang yelled back angrily. "Honestly you will never shut up about that!"

"You did bite part of her ear off." Weiss pointed out, turning to look at Yang with a disapproving look on her face.

"It was an accident!" Yang cried defensively. "Honestly the way you people go on and on, 'Oh Yang you bit part of my ear off! Yang you shouldn't have feed Zwei that Dust, Yang that's not the wrong hole! Honestly the way you people go on and on about it, I lost my frigging arm for crying out loud!"

"Hey, leave my Ex out of this!" Blake cried indignantly.

"Blake, he tried to decapitate you remember?" Ruby pointed out.

"Yeah and that wasn't a onetime event? Remember his attack on Haven?" Weiss added.

"Well yeah but…" Blake began to say.

"And that time he ordered your family dead?" Yang added.

"Well yes but…"

"Or when he tried to assassinate Uncle Qrow?" Ruby continued.

"Yes, however…"

"And did." Yang added as her fist clenched.

"Also he set Weiss house on fire that one time." Ruby muttered, remembering that particularly fun day.

"I know… but he…"

"He Murdered my Father and Brother!" Weiss cired indignantly, drawing odd looks from her team mates.

"Erm, Weiss we're trying to make a case against him." Ruby said quitley, unable to make eye contact with her teammate.

"What?" Weiss said, taken aback as she looked at the R, B and Y that made their team name.

"Yeah, don't go listing the good things he did." Yang added.

"I mean, that was probably the nicest thing he's ever done for anyone." Blake said, smiling as she remembered the event.

"He killed my father!" Weiss cried, aghast.

"Yeah, we know." Ruby said with a grin.

"But… He killed my father!"

"Weiss no one liked him or your brother, you especially." Blake said simply as she looked at her teammate.

"What, I never…" Weiss began before Yang cut in.

"Really, then what was with the voodoo dolls for dummies book I found in your pack?" Yang asked with a questioning look.

"And the several locks of hair you took from them." Blake added, grinning slightly. "Honestly you should be thanking him at this point."

"Thanking him! He murdered my father!" Weiss cried.

"Yeah and you hated him, remember?" Yang said.

In desperation Weiss turned to look at Ruby who shrugged and slowly muttered:

"I mean, he did disown you and everything…"

"Yeah, but… He was my father! I should feel a little bad about this." Weiss said even if her face looked completely unconvinced.

"Weiss he actively made your life worse, literally he was a sexist racist jerk who ruined your family name, not to mention your own mother's health, all because he was a greedy jerk." Blake explained. "That is a perfect reason to be glad he's dead and that he set that terrible house on fire."

"Erm…" Ruby said, awkwardly rubbing the back of her head.

"Ruby why are you Erming?" Wiess said, her voice unnaturally cold as she looked at silver eyed girl.

"Well… Okay confession time, it might not have been Adam who set your house on fire…"

"What!" Weiss cried indignantly as she looked at her partner.

"Look I was just trying out my new flame thrower and…"

"What did you build a flame thrower for!" Weiss yelled. "Is your scythe of death not enough for you now!?"

"Well I thought it could be made better you know, no one was around…" Ruby muttered awkwardly.

"The weapons shop is made of pure stone and metal! What did you even ignite!?" Weiss yelled.

"Oh, I wasn't testing it in the weapons shop." Ruby explained happily. "Nothing to aim at, so I was walking around trying to find somewhere to test it and I then stumbled across this huge room with… 'targets' hung up on the walls."

"Ruby…" Weiss growled through gritted teeth. "…When you say targets?"

Seeing Weiss' twitching eye Ruby elected to be honest, it was the best policy after all.

"…Paintings?"

Weiss exploded.

"Why the fucking hell did you decided to use the centurys old paintings as fucking target practise!? Oil based paint is highly flammable you know!"

"Well I do now!" Ruby said, rolling her eyes as she spoke. "Honestly it was an honest mistake…"

"You burned my house down!" Weiss screamed.

"Excuse me." A voice from the door started to say before Blakes retort drowned it out.

"Weiss you ran away from your home." Blake pointed out. "Like, you stowed away on an airship and flew to haven."

"I was going to go back!" Weiss cried. "I was going to take my name and title back at some point!"

"And now you don't have to." Blake explained. "Ergo, you should thank him, he got you away from a clearly toxic relationship."

"Oh, I see, that argument makes sense to you now its about someone else's life; but the second it involves you…" Yang began, turning angrily to look at Blake.

"Excuse me." The figure at the door said again, somewhat peeved that she was being ignored in her own castle.

"Excuse me Miss Xiao Long! He was bad for me? Who's the reason I don't have an ear!"

"Oh my god Blake get over it! Ruby didn't make this big of a fuss over losing her legs!" Yang cried, pointing to her sister's mechanical legs.

"I have never seen someone make such a hash out of gardening." Weiss muttered darkly.

"Well I was still feeling bad over Weiss' eyes at the time and didn't feel like I should complain." Ruby explained.

"Awe, Ruby you know I forgave you for that, I know it was an accident." Weiss said, a tinge of red coming to her cheeks as she looked at the girl.

"I know but I still feel bad about it." Ruby said, an equally red tinge coming to her cheeks.

"I'm guessing the story you told about a White Fang insurgent busting in and throwing acid in her eyes isn't true?" Blake asked, eyebrow raised.

"No, it was an accident with my lube bottle…" Ruby explained. "Turns out the cap wasn't on as tight as I thought and…"

"What did you two need lube for!?" Yang cried out, looking between her sister and Weiss.

"Erm, the same reason you and Blake need it?" Weiss said slowly, looking between the two of them.

"Yeah, I didn't think it would be that hard to figure out." Ruby added, looking at her sister in confusion. "I mean, what did you think we were doing while we were locked in those shipping crates on the way to Atlas?"

"I, erm…" Yang began as Blake turned to look at her.

"Yang, you really didn't know?" She asked with concern as she looked at the blond girl.

"I… No!" Yang cried. "I… I thought…"

"What? We were painting our nails and talking about cute boys?" Weiss asked, smirking as she looked at Yang. "We had that conversation the last time you did."

"So… Never?" Yang said slowly. "I, you know what never mind! I don't care! Wait… Where did you get the lube from in a crate?"

"Oh, it was going to a sex shop." Weiss explained. "We decided to give their merchandise a… Test run."

"What!?" Yang cried out as Blake raised an eyebrow and looked at Weiss.

"What else did you try?" She asked as the Ex Heiress thought about it for a second.

"Well lets see, first we found this absolutely massive…"

" **Excuse me!"** The speaker yelled, stamping her bleached white foot to the ground in anger. **"Can you please stop talking about your god dam fucking sex lives and please explain to me how in the shitting god's saggy left bollock you got into my fucking castle!?"**

Team RWBY turned around, seeing the white monster girl standing in the door way of her black castle, the hellish red sky outside showing a Grimm spawning ground and a never-ending storm raging.

Salem was standing right in front of them. And she was angry. At this point there was only one thing the team could do.

"ARGH! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!" Ruby yelled, her silver eyes ignited both with its anti Grimm power and its spring maiden power (In Ruby's defence she thought Raven would have been able to outfly that tiger… she was wrong."

Weiss followed suit, a huge flurry of Ice exploding from her and trapping the monster girl in place. Shortly followed by Blakes fall lightning and Yang's Summer fire.

The confrontation only lasted a few seconds… The end result was a bloody mess on the ground where Salem used to be standing.

"Was that Salem?" Ruby asked, walking over to the corpse (as ridden with holes as it was) and gingerly poked it with her foot.

"Yes…" Weiss said, stepping out from behind Ruby to look at the body as well. "Emphasis on the 'Was'…"

"I… No." Blake said, shaking her head insistently. "I refuse, this, this did not just happen; I refuse. It shouldn't have been that easy."

"Hey we won, don't complain!" Yang cried happily. "Hey, I have an idea, lets celebrate here!"

"What!" Blake cried, turning to look at the blond haired girl.

"That's a great idea! This place is huge, and the ballroom defiantly hasn't seen any dancing in years…" Weiss muttered, her brain running a mile a minute as she began planning.

"I think we have bigger problems right now." Blake said. "Like, don't you think we might want to inform Ozpin or anyone that we are A: from the future. B: That we're the incredibly powerful maidens and C: We ended a several thousand year old conflict by accident!?"

The rest of the team looked at her for a second.

"Nah." They all declared simultaneously as Weiss set of to find decorations, Yang began establishing a play list and Ruby went to find some food.

Blake, watching her teammates leave decided to join in and vowed to find some alcohol… Even if she wasn't sure they'd be any left for the rest of them by the time she was done.

…

Qrow Brawnwen was on his way to his favourite club when his scroll went off. Figuring Ozpin had found something for him to do (and thus ending his break) he opened it up.

The message he found was not what he expected.

What he got was a string of coordinates and a picture.

The picture showed four young adults (two of which looked immensely familiar to him) all of whom were clearly drunk out of there minds, using each other for support as they clutched dark black tankards (who's contents were going everywhere) partying in front of…

Qrow gasped. He'd only seen that face described to him once before, Salem, ender of the world, mistress of the Grimm, Ruler of the lost continent… And she was clearly dead and hanging from the ceiling.

It was only after his brain had comprehended this image that he noticed the pictures caption:

 _Hey Qrow! Want a stab at the Piñata?_

 _(we have booze)_


End file.
